Monday, April 20, 2009

I have recently returned to Facebook, only after a beautiful 40 days without it. It frustrated and overwhelmed me all at the same time, because who are these people and why are they my "friends?" Sure, I have crossed paths at some point in my life with each and every one of them, but that crossing may have only merited a class together or a meeting through a friend of a friend.

So, I've been thinking, not only who are they, but who am I to them? Many of them know me from high school or college, a handful of them know me from junior high, and the rest fall into the friends of friends category where we met once or twice, then the family category.

So, I thought I would give a small peek into who I am/why I am that way. The main parts of my life are God and family, so I will expound most on those areas.

I am the oldest of 3; I have a brother and sister. We have better relationships now than ever before in our lives. My father was abusive to my mother, also a drug addict and alcoholic. They divorced when I was 7; he came back/left again when I was 14; he came back again when I was 17, then died 7 months later of metastatic lung cancer that spread to his brain. My mom injured her back in 1994 and as the oldest, I assumed much of the responsibility.

Because of my unconventional family history, I am a huge advocate for my family now. More on them to come.

I was raised in Southern Baptists churches. I was always extremely judgmental and quick to point out other people's flaws. I was confident in my relationship with the Lord, and was confident that it [my salvation] was superior to my classmates [salvation] who struggled in areas that I did not.

I flew the coop I left home halfway through my sophomore year in college to transfer to a school 4 hours away. For once, I just wanted to take care of myself. It was amazing, and instantly my world was rocked. I decided rather than going home the next summer I would go on summer missions. I worked with a Baptist association that had over 90 churches in it. The Lord really started working in my heart that summer. I would lay in the floor of my room each night and marvel at things in the Bible I had never seen before. I think for the first time in my life, my eyes were truly fixed on Him. I became an advocate for the statement "relationship, not religion."

I came back to school that fall, having released all preconceived notions of what my life was to hold. I changed my major in school and said "take my life and let it be, consecrated only Lord to thee." I started a new job and moved into a new house with new roommates. In walks W into my life. I had met him the semester before, but it stopped at that. Suddenly we were talking to each other and I found myself giddy. I freaked out. But, Lord? I just want to be yours. I told W, and we both concurred it would be only a friendship until further noted. 2 months later it was further noted, and then we knew that the God of heaven and earth had created us for each other.

In the midst of our blooming relationship, I had an encounter with God that I am not vulnerable enough to blog about. I left the Baptist church and began going to a non-denominational church with W. I miss that year of my life; I was so eager to learn of the things of God.

The next summer we marry. We immediately go into full time ministry, even raising our own support for our first year of marriage. Three weeks after we were married we went on a mission trip to Portland, OR and it has not slowed down since then.

Nearly two months after we celebrated our first anniversary, T-Pup was born. We had moved two weeks prior to him being born so W could take the job of a Director of Christian Education at a United Methodist Church. 26 months later, Sam was born.

Letmetellyousomething, I love our church. It makes me love THE CHURCH more! The people there love me, challenge me, make me laugh and make me cry all in the same week. I have learned this: one cannot put God in a box. Whether worshiping in a contemporary or traditional service, or worshiping with chains binding you to a prison cell, God is still the same. Who knew in my ripe old age this once radical gal would love liturgy and singing "O for a thousand tongues to sing" and "Come, thou long expected Jesus."

I willingly and gladly serve my husband, because it does my heart joy. I weep at the fact my children have a father like I never did. I love staying home with our children, pouring into them the Word of God and crazy, silly fun. Who cares that I don't have some fancy corporate job? There are days when I wish I did, but at the end of each day, I rejoice at what the Lord has put on my plate.

Now, I will eagerly tell you my flaws before I even guess at yours. I will tell you no matter what has happened in life, God still so tenderly loves us. Not for what we do, but for who we are; as I don't love Him for what He does, but for who He is. I will be the first to tell you I am not perfect. I love to be sarcastic and often have an off-colored since of humor. I sometimes laugh really hard and snort, then glace embarrassingly around to see if anyone heard. I would love to one day be a midwife, live in Israel and India. I want my children to walk in truth. I want my husband to be proud of me. And I want my dear Lord to delight in me and dance over me. That's me.

Facebook won't allow this many words in the "tell me something about yourself" box.

So, takemeorleaveme there ya go. Now, if you read this (haha, watch my counter say 0 for the next 7 days) I would love to know a little bit more about you.


Melanie said...

great blog chica. I loved it :) and isn't it amazing how God can so quickly change the way we think and live.

Much love :)

random but the word verification for this comment is suckeli it just looks funny haha

Heidi said...

Loved it :-)

Now you know why I also blog AND
facebook. sometimes you just want to say more right?

love you girl!!!!!